Everyone keeps asking if I’m so excited to be done with radiation or done with active treatment! “Get back to life” is what people say. But it’s not like that.
First off, radiation is still affecting my body for weeks to months after my last treatment. That’s because it inhibits the cell’s ability to replicate. This means my radiation side effects also can last weeks to months after my last day of treatment.
My Next Treatments
Secondly, my cancer treatment isn’t complete after radiation. For the next year, I’ll be orally taking a new drug called a PARP inhibitor, which was just approved this past summer for patients with BRCA 2 genetic mutations (like me) to help fight cancer. The PARP inhibitor works by helping the broken BRCA 2 gene find and kill cancer cells before they have time to continue growing. It decreases my cancer risk by 8%. That doesn’t sound like a lot, but in the cancer world it’s huge.
I’ll also be taking drug to stop my body from producing any estrogen, because the breast cancer I had feeds off of estrogen. I will be on the estrogen blocker drug for 10 years to reduce my cancer risk.
Both the PARP inhibitor and estrogen blocker drugs come with their own sets of side effects.
The PARP inhibitor is so new that I have to be seen monthly by my oncology team. The estrogen blocker drug has a lot of common side effects, including:
- Decreased bone density,
- Insomnia,
- Hot flashes,
- Emotional swings,
- Weight gain,
- Fatigue, and more seriously (but less common)
- Blood clots and stroke
Mental Health Struggles
Besides the possibility of side effects from the estrogen blocker, there are the mental health side effects from treatment over the last 11 months. Like having to find a new normal to be able to address all the side effects I’ve already accumulated. Or having to change my career plans to be able to accommodate everything.
My career change alone is a huge loss that affects me every day. Career changes also leading to decreased income, and then accounting for that in my life and treatment.
I’m forever going to be worried that each and every ache and pain could be a reoccurrence or metastasis of this awful disease. I’ve had to watch friends I’ve made go through reoccurrence, mets, and sometimes even die.
Just because I’m done with the biggest hitters when it comes to cancer treatment, I’m not done with treatment—not by a long shot. Cancer is a forever diagnosis. It changes your whole life and future.
New Normal
Please be kind and patient while I transition into my new normal. While I find my energy and voice. While I figure out what I can and can’t do, both mentally and physically. It’s a balance I’m working on achieving and it’s scary. Oftentimes, living is harder than surviving.
I plan on taking you Warriors on this next step of treatment and finding my new normal. I’m excited to educate everyone on the long-term effects of cancer after the biggest parts of treatment are over. And I hope you continue to come back and learn with me!
This!!! Everyone thinks because my pathology showed no cancer, that I’m done and the old Mel will be back. The old Mel died on June 4, 2021 when I was informed I had cancer. But most days it seems that the one who really needs to remember that is me. I also need to remind myself not to apologize for who I am now.
Oh, Julie I am so sorry to read this … I was one of the ones that said YEAH you have finished treatments .. .. You will figure it all out one day at a time and hopefully you will take all of us along with you…. prayers for sure !!
We know what a difficult year this has been for you and Mitch, and that you may face more challenges. Life is full of disappointments, surprises and JOY. It seems that many of those who have the toughest challenges are those who experience the greatest joy in life. We know you will continue to educate and inspire us with your wonderful blog, and we look forward to hearing about more of Julia’s JOYFUL journeys! There’s a reason that’s your middle name, right? We love you so very much.
Yep—all true. But you, Julia, are a chieftain to us warriors. You’ve taught us SO much in your blog postings. You’ve led us through the chemistry and biology, and psychology of cancer. You’ve consulted, and requested, and stated your needs, flagging high and low points—-but always, always exhibiting grace, courage, and determination.
No, life will never be the same. But then, it never is. You’ve experienced more than most of us—and that’s even BEFORE the cancer butted in. And you picked yourself up every time—and you made life good. I have no doubt that you’ll do it again.“Remission” is a scary word; it’s a forever word, too- until it’s not.
None of us know what’s ahead of us. So we live for today and flow into tomorrow. And we accept that life is imperfect and harmony between forces is sometimes discordant; even so, it has a beauty of its own, sometimes recognized by only a few —but , oh what joy for those few!
Continue to treat yourself with kindness, Julia. You’ve asked us to accept that you need time and gentleness…so ask it of yourself, too. Push ahead— but allow yourself to ebb. Your physical, emotional , and spiritual beings have taken a beating ( as you well know); but they are there—a bit battered and worn and torn—but they’re there. Give them time; give them opportunity; give them love.
With you, Julia—beside you, in front of you, behind you. ♥️
FYI…I am crossing fingers you don’t have many side effects from the two drugs. Everybody is different. At 33, I took an estrogen blocker, Tamoxifen for 10 yrs with minimal side effects. Then Raloxifene for 5 more yrs. I do have osteoporosis but I blame it on the complete hysterectomy I had at 39. I hope you have it at easy as I did. So take it one day at a time and we’ll be praying it all goes smoothly & that you’ll feel good through it all! Blessings my friend!
Good post