I just just just got paid!!!! JK I’m not working, but remember that song! N’SYNC sure does and they used their paycheck to get shirts! Don’t they look handsome? You still have time to order yours and look handsome too!
T-Shirt Orders Close April 4!
Order today if you haven’t! Orders close April 4th and shirts should ship around April 19th. We’re at 45 shirts sold! So close to our goal of 50!! Join N’SYNC and look freaky Friday payday fresh!
Another Insurance Update
Now that I’m done wearing my mittens and being Bernie Sanders hitting you up for money once again, let’s talk insurance instead! (Mittens back on, guess I’m still Bernie). Yesterday I got a call from my short-term medical policy insurance case manager saying they are covering my chemo!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk about great news! Of course they get their act together right when we have a new ACA-compatible policy. We have gone from having no insurance options to too many options. We are leaning towards the safest bet of just sticking with the ACA plan but aren’t 100% sure yet. We’re reaching out to our brokers, lawyer and social work to determine what to do.
Thankful For Our Resources
There are just so many moving parts and it’s all so confusing. I just keep thinking to myself about people who don’t have the resources we do. The resources like time and connections. I never knew the Nebraska Insurance Board was a thing before all this. I never knew the different aspects of insurance policies and what exactly a pre-existing condition meant. I never knew a lot!!! Hopefully some day I can help come up with a resource for others going through the same thing, because what we have gone through isn’t right and boils my blood. And every single person I’ve talked to in the cancer world has gone through some version of it!!! F*ck cancer and f*ck insurance.
Other than that, just hanging in there and managing side effects of chemo as they come. I don’t know why they call them side effects when they all happen anyway. Should just be called “effects.” Some days I do a great job. Other days (like yesterday) I get overzealous and do too much, then pay for it at night. I’m going to start planning my days more and scheduling down time or naps so I don’t end up a hot mess express again.
Hot Mess Express
How was I a hot mess express? Let me tell you all about it, dear warrior. Because my goal is to be truthful and real with you. Yesterday I went to Costco and At Home. Then I had lunch with a friend from nursing school and came home to rest. Instead of resting I got the call from insurance, so then I had to call the whole family and tell them the great news.
After that I was hurting. My hair is officially falling out and it hurts. It’s like little pins and needles, or the feeling you get when you say “it fell asleep.” It’s not fun and hurts on top of the regular just “cancer hurt.” So I took a pain pill and laid down and fell asleep for an hour. I woke up feeling great, so at 7:00 pm I had this wild idea of “LET’S MAKE A BOOKSHELF!” Because I was feeling great. Because of the pain pill. So we made a bookshelf.
The bookshelf looks great. It fits our needs and opened up space we needed elsewhere, but my body was sure pissed at me! I had some celebratory soup once we completed the shelf and then boom EVERYTHING hurt. It hurt to my bones. I was dizzy. I was nauseous. All I could do was whimper out in pain. It was awful and came out of nowhere. I’m not fully convinced there wasn’t narcan in that celebratory soup I had after making the shelf. It came on that fast and hurt that much. It was a pain I had never experienced before and didn’t even know how to address it. It was a deep aching pain that hit me to my soul. I felt like the lead character in Soul, floating in the void unsure where he was. It was just terrible, miserable, awful. Mitch helped me get to bed. He got me an eye mask and hat on and then just laid with me stroking my back until I fell asleep. I don’t think it took too long to happen and am grateful I did. I did not want to go to the ER because of pain. I was NOT going to be THAT person.
Thankfully I woke up a few hours later in a much better situation. Still in pain, but I could actually function. I went to the bathroom and then went back to sleep until this morning. Now I’m here. Headed to therapy in a little bit. Worried that I’ll have more days like yesterday. Trying to plan how to not have that happen while watching chemo just laugh in my face and say, “cute you think you can make plans!”
Good old cancer and chemo forcing me to slow down and set myself up for success. They are assholes that way, making me have to listen to my body. I’m still an ER nurse at heart. We are the queens of not listening to our bodies. It amazes me now how much I neglected and abused my body pre-cancer. Don’t do that, dear warriors. Give your body some love today. Drink that water. Eat those vegetables and protein. Listen to it and give it what it needs. Then go order it a t-shirt, because your body told me it likes them.
So good to know about the insurance! And yes, it hurts when hair falls out. What a hero you have in Mitch! He is the CHIEFTAN!
I’m glad that you give in to your pain and that you take a pill when you need it. Keep this in mind as you progress back to good health. Help to heal by caring for your Self. Use the tools and wisdom of modern medicine to keep ahead of pain—or at least to assuage it before it takes control of both mind and body.
Here to listen, to talk, to encourage, to celebrate, at times to weep with you ( that too can be healing)—but I’ll let Mitch rub your back!?
Glad to hear about insurance. Sorry about the pain surprises. Not fun. You will figure out your routine. Take care of yourself. Eat right and get rest.