My Ultrasound Biopsy

On Friday (2/12) I had my ultrasound biopsies. They were done by Dr. Hilger, a radiologist, and Terra, an ultrasound tech. They were both simply amazing. It just so happened that Dr. Hilger was the radiologist at Women’s Hospital when I had my initial mammogram and ultrasound a mere two weeks ago. He was the first one to tell me I probably had cancer. It wasn’t a fun conversation, but he was so caring and I will forever appreciate his honesty. 

Terra and Dr. Hilger made the whole biopsy process much easier. They listened to me jabber on about all sorts of things. We talked about different interesting cases we’ve encountered. We talked about the different ER docs at Methodist. They explained things on the ultrasound. Time really flew. The whole thing took a couple hours, but with all the conversation I actually forgot about cancer for a little bit and felt like I was just another medical professional. I’m so grateful and tear up thinking about that experience. They took something so scary and potentially painful and made it just another day at the office. Thank you both.

Getting Numbed Up

For the biopsy, Terra first did an ultrasound to find the areas in my breast and lymph nodes that looked cancerous. Then Dr. Hilger came in. He injected some lidocaine and got to work with the tool seen below. He would guide the tool to the right area and then hit a button that made a big click sound (which was the tool grabbing some of that tissue). It was pretty painful at first and I didn’t realize it was not supposed to hurt. Part of the reason this cancer is oh-so special is because it causes skin thickening, so it can be hard to get past that to get the numbing meds into the tissue. Dr. Hilger asked me a couple of times about my pain. Since I didn’t know it shouldn’t hurt, I said it wasn’t too bad. He’s pretty intuitive and could read right through me, so he stopped the procedure to inject more lidocaine. It fixed the problem and then I didn’t feel a thing. 

Taking Tissue Samples

He took what felt like a million samples from my right breast. Then did my right armpit for the lymph node involved on that side. Same process with the lidocaine, but he used a different tool for reasons I can’t fully remember but it had to do with safety and pain. We took a break, and then did the inflamed lymph node on the left. Dr. Hilger had spoken to Dr. Kolkman about that lymph node on the left. Everyone agrees it’s most likely inflamed due to the COVID vaccine and not related to the cancer, but it was better to just do the biopsy and know for sure while I was there than wait and have it create a bigger problem down the road. I actually saw a few studies this weekend that state the COVID vaccine is causing a lot of cancer scares, because it’s inflaming lymph nodes and making it look like cancer on imaging (see more here). Sadly, I don’t think this is the case for me as my skin punch biopsy already confirmed cancer. I do feel like the COVID vaccine may have helped catch the cancer earlier though with inflaming my lymphs and getting me to get imaging done, but one will never know. Or maybe we will when the biopsy results come back Thursday. So many unknowns. Doesn’t make much of a difference now. Cancer is there. 

Back to biopsies. When they do them they insert a little clip that stays in forever at each biopsied site. This is so when I have surgery in the future or further biopsies they don’t biopsy the same spot and/or know what to remove in surgery. A permanent cancer tracker! Who thought my own scientific people would put a tracker in me and not the government! (I jest) 

Note to Self: No IBC Research on Facebook

After the biopsies were finished, they did a mammogram to ensure the clips were in the right spot. Mitch came and picked me up, and off to home I went. The pain wasn’t unmanageable that night. Ice really helped. I took some norco and slept for a while and then made a huge mistake….Facebook. I joined a few groups for breast cancer patients, specifically inflammatory breast cancer. The first group I was approved to was just a bunch of people who thought they had cancer, posting pictures asking for advice and then not having cancer. The only other posts seemed to be people posting that a member had passed away from cancer. It was very disheartening. 

I got into another group and was skimming the posts when a whole new reality came to fruition. There is a big possibility with the removal of some lymph nodes, I may have lifting restrictions forever. This would seriously hinder what type of nursing jobs I could get. I’m not sure I could get on at another ER. This seriously bummed me out. Then I doubled down on my foolishness and kept reading. I found out some side effects from chemo can last months…or forever. Fatigue is a huge issue even months after treatment. People were posting how they could barely work a half day, 6 months post chemo. I thought I would maybe feel shitty throughout treatment, close to a year total, but then be right back at it and chasing my dreams. Just beat the cancer and back to normal! I was so down after finding out it won’t be that easy and I think it’s something the general public may not know. Cancer isn’t just an acute disease process and battle to stay alive, but a chronic disease as well. Cancer changes one’s life goals and plans forever. It’s a hard pill to swallow but just like those horse pill potassium pills, I found my own version of applesauce and water to dilute the blow. 

A Profession/Field Change?

I’d make a good case manager some day, having been here through the cancer. I could also teach. None of those require much lifting. I’m sure there are gonna be more options as time goes on.  And honestly right now it’s one day, one thing at a time. It is good to be cognitive of the future consequences so I can make informed decisions when it comes to treatment options, but the main goal is to stay alive. I can address the career goals later. Just a lesson in acceptance. This is a marathon, not a sprint and we are only on mile two. 

Saturday morning I woke up with A LOT of pain. A solid 7/10 in my armpit. It was quite awful. I took some narco and Zofran, and back to sleep I went. I was quite annoyed I am not to take ibuprofen right now due to port placement Tuesday, so it was the best I could do. I was not prepared for the pain at all. The breast really didn’t and doesn’t hurt. It’s just the lymph node areas. Pro tip—if you or a friend has to have biopsies done, make sure they have time in between that and any other surgical procedures so they have more pain-relief options that don’t include narcotics. 

Shopping for Cancer Clothes

After I had some better pain management we went to Target and got some button down shirts. It helps me maintain independence right now since I don’t have to lift my arms to put it on and I figured it will help in the future with port access. The bra selection was highly lacking. I prefer sports bras because of the compression aspect. At the same time they need to provide a lot of support because having the breast lifted helps with the pain. I would really like something that is front clasping so I could do it easier myself. If anybody knows anything that fits these options let me know!

After Target, one of my sisters came over for a while. We got chinese food. It was nice to have a visitor and think of something besides cancer. My Aunt Karin also stopped by with a Lithuanian torte. She has had both vaccines and I have too, so I felt pretty safe still in that regard. 

Gifts & Donations

I also received lots of gifts and donations the last few days and I’m forever grateful. My brother Luke sent some items from the amazon wish list. One was a big box that had dog food in it and lots of treats. My boys are so important to me I again almost cried knowing they are being thought of. Mitch’s boss sent Airpods and an iPod! This will come in so much handy when I’m sitting through hours-long chemo sessions alone! Everyone has been so generous and I’m so grateful. Even when it’s just a note in the mail with encouraging words every little bit helps. Thank you.

Valentine’s Day Celebrations

Now I’m off to enjoy Valentine’s Day with Mitch and the boys. We have chocolate covered strawberries being delivered from Hyvee soon and I can’t wait! Nevermind, Hyvee sucks and didn’t have any nor did they give us a substitute! But Emma came through and now we have some killer cake! Have a magical Valentine Sunday warriors!