Take Me to the Mountains

Hello Hello! Welcome, my dear warriors. Let’s give you an update, shall we! Last week on the 26th of April my neutrophils had rebounded to better than pre-cancer and I was able to get my last dose of the red devil AC chemo!!! This was very exciting, because as you know it’s a beast and I wanted to make sure I could still go on my scheduled trip with my sister to help my dad.

While I was excited to get chemo, I was worried with the short turn around time from the dose being given on Monday and having to be clear mentally by Thursday. To attempt to be more clear, I decided to cut the dose of one of my nausea meds (Zyprexa) in half. A little science/education here….Zyprexa is an antipsyhocitc medication given to cancer patients because it help tremendously with nausea. Another side effect of Zyprexa is sedation. Way back in March (after my first dose of chemo) I was still pretty nauseous, so oncology doubled my Zyprexa dose and at the same time gave me a Scopolamine patch to wear. Scopolamine patches are designed for motion sickness and also help cancer patients with nausea. With all my chemo doses, I’ve been doing both medications and blacking out for three days. I figured since I started the Scopolamine patch and double dose of Zyprexa at the same time, it was unclear which one helped my nausea the most and it was worth a trial of cutting back on the Zyprexa to see if I could be more clear and still have the nausea controlled.

Let me tell you!!!! IT FREAKING WORKED! Cutting back made a huge difference in my cognition! I was able to remember things and was more clear. I didn’t black out like I was and my nausea was still controlled well. I’m just as surprised as you that things worked out well for once and think it’s about time things turned around in my favor. I’m embracing that experience and have decided I will only put good thoughts and intentions into the universe. Just constantly saying this will all work out. Everything will be fine. Manifest my future through my intentions. Real hippy dippy stuff I know, but you can’t knock what’s working!

Going to Colorado

One of the deals I made with oncology to get to go to Colorado was I’d get my regularly scheduled two days of IV fluids, nausea meds, and Pepcid before I left. Wednesday morning I got the second dose, while Mitch dropped off the dogs and we hit the road. Mitch did most of the driving to Colorado, but I was able to do an hour or two out in the panhandle. It felt great to be able to contribute.

We made it to Greeley at a decent hour Wednesday and spent the evening just relaxing. Then spent Thursday and part of Friday going to different appointments with my dad and sister. I am not going to laminate on those, because that’s his story to tell and not mine. Just know things got done, plans got put in place, I was able to keep up pretty well, my copy editor Mitch was amazing, and my sister and I didn’t murder each other or anyone else. Overall, I’d say that’s pretty dang successful!

After Friday’s appointments, Mitch and I headed down to Colorado Springs to spend the weekend with our friends Carlos, Joanna and their toddler Arlo. Carlos is one of our best friends and was one of my bridesmaids. Yes, you read that right, I had male bridesmaids. I called them brides-bros and had two at our wedding. Carlos and our friend Zach. My maid of honor was my best friend Hilary, who I met when working at Disney World.

Rejuvenating Weekend

On the way to Carlos’ place, we stopped in Boulder to do one of my favorite things: window shop! Normally on vacations, I budget in being able to actually buy quite a few things for not only us, but our friends as well. Stupid cancer stole that joy. I had to tighten up the budget this time and just window shop. It was still nice to go into all the shops and see all the pretty things with minimal spending. I just love the vibe of little local shops so much!

We got to Colorado Springs Friday evening and had an amazing weekend. We were able to do all the window shopping at a flea market, downtown Colorado Springs, and the Garden of the Gods visitor center. We went on a very mild hike one day. The other day the boys went on a very large and difficult hike up Blodgett Peak. Overall it was a great time to just soak up the fresh mountain air and be with dear friends—very rejuvenating.

After a beautiful weekend with temps in the upper 70s and sunny, we woke up Monday to it snowing! We bundled up and headed to Greeley to spend a little one-on-one time with my dad before making the rest of the journey home. We spent an hour or so with him and then hit the road again. Everything went swimmingly and we made it home Monday evening around 8pm.

Recuperating

Now it’s just recuperating and getting back into the swing of things. The co-payment bills are starting to finally come in. I’ve been really careful to examine each one and there’s been discrepancies on a few that have lead to extra work needing to be done on my part. This morning I spent an hour and a half on the phone getting all that situated. Lots of back and forth calls between insurance and the billing departments. This all could have been avoided if National General had just paid right away instead of wasting time with their silly investigation, but why believe the patient and their doctors, and just do what they are paid to do from the start? That’s too easy.

On Friday, we are meeting with my surgeon Dr. Santamaria again to have a half-way-there check in. We are also going to meet with Dr. Figy with plastic surgery for the first time. He’s on the case to hopefully do some lymph node reconstruction when I have my mastectomy done. He’s also on board for my reconstruction options.

Surgery Thoughts

When I was first diagnosed, I thought I would just stay flat. I didn’t see the health benefit of reconstruction and feel like all I ever hear about are loads of complications. Plus there was so much other stuff to think about, I just decided to burry my head in the sand on the reconstruction options. I just wasn’t ready to face it yet. I had to get through chemo first. Then yesterday I was browsing Instagram and someone posted what they looked like with a flat closer and no nipples. It completely and totally freaked me the f*ck out and will forever be a defining moment in my cancer journey. Now I’m just really confused and overwhelmed by all my options. It’s all so complicated with having to do the mastectomy, lymph node reconstruction, ovary removal, and reconstruction options. There are so many questions with a lot of it being dictated by timeline of the different surgeries, what can and can not be coupled together, and how to reduce my risk of reoccurrence or a new cancer in the fastest, safest way possible. I actually can’t wait for it to be Friday so I can 1) learn about what’s available to me from Dr. Figy, 2) start planning for this, and 3) educate you!

It just so happened that me bringing my head out of the sand in regards to my masectomy coincided with a group of us ladies who met in a breast cancer support group called The Breasties, having a zoom meet up. In this meeting I was able to start pulling my head out of the sand and process how I’m really feeling with an amazing group of women who have been or are going through it too. I felt so safe and was able to start looking inward. Breast cancer is a b*tch, but at least I got a group of ladies who get that b*tch!

Will keep you posted this weekend on what I learn Friday! Stay joyful!